Matthew 5:31-32
Kingdom Standards for Marriage

Jesus has made the commandment more spiritual and demanding in each case so far: not only is murder forbidden, but anger and hatred as well. Reconciled relationships are to be the norm in the Christian community. Not only is adultery forbidden, but lust, the seed of adultery is condemned.

In each of these cases Jesus presents us with what some have seen (Albert Schweitzer [1875-1965] in particular) as an impossible standard. Humanly speaking this estimation may be correct, but the Christian community and its constituent members are indwelt with supernatural power through the Holy Spirit to live out the Kingdom realities Jesus imparts. Indeed, the process of becoming more and more in tune with these Kingdom standards as we live in obedience to God is the process of sanctification.

Do Christians keep these standards at all time? Of course not! Is it a sin to not obey the commandments that Jesus has given to us? It certainly is. So this means that from time to time Christians are prone to slip and fall. We are prone to fail in living out the Kingdom lifestyle Jesus presents in the Sermon on the Mount. When this happens we need to repent of our sin, seek God's forgiveness, ask to be filled and empowered with the Holy Spirit, and then proceed to press forward in godly living again.

Look up 1 John 1:9 and Philippians 3:12-14. In what ways do these verses offer us hope and encouragement when we fail to meet God's standards?

The same is true in keeping with Jesus' teaching on divorce in this chapter. Jesus presents God's standard for the marriage relationship here: it is a PERMANENT relationship. Too often Christians want to immediately turn their attention to the exceptions that permit believers to divorce and remarry. We quickly run to casuistry when it comes to divorce and remarriage. The reason for this is obvious, since most of us are effected by divorce we have a vested interest in justifying our own divorce or the divorce of a friend or relative. The reality is that we will not find the healing and newness of life we need in order to build healthy, God-honoring relationships if we dwell on rationalizing our actions or the actions of others. Healing comes when we begin to allow God to shape our lives in accordance to the truth revealed in His Word. And the hard truth is that the Word of God actually condemns much of what our culture accepts as grounds for divorce and remarriage.

We need to dwell on the ideal God has for marriage. What is God's standard in the Scriptures we have read? Do Christians always keep this standard?

No, we fail here just as when we fail in avoiding sinful anger, unreconciled relationships, or lust. But this does NOT mean that we have committed an unpardonable sin or that we become second class citizens in the Christian community. When we fail to live in accordance to the Kingdom principles related to divorce we need to repent of our sin, seek God's forgiveness, ask to be filled and empowered with the Holy Spirit, and then proceed to press forward in godly living again.

The Ideal
What is God's attitude for divorce? Has it changed since Old Testament times? No. Look up Malachi 2:13-16a. Now look up Matthew 19:1-12. In the NT passage Jesus reveals that marriage is to be permanent because this is how God intended it at Creation. Divorce in and of itself is a contradiction of the expressed will of God. Whenever divorce enters into a relationship it is always because some evil has already become ingrained in the marriage relationship. The breaking of the marriage relationship is a part of human sinfulness. That is what Jesus is referring to in Matthew 19:8 when he says that Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of our hearts.

The Expositor's Bible Commentary of the New Testament states in regards to these verses:

Jesus is then saying that divorce and remarriage always involve evil; but as Moses permitted it because of the hardness of men's hearts, so also does he--but now on the sole grounds of porneia (sexual sin of any sort).

What are some things that cause divorce and how are they a manifestation of sin?

The Exceptions
The rub comes when we talk about divorce and remarriage. Separation is certainly permissible in some situations, even though this is not the optimum arrangement. The real issue for most people, however, is when can one remarry without being in violation of the will of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

Porneia
Matthew's Gospel contains what is called the "exception clause". In Matthew 5 it is translated "except for marital unfaithfulness" and in Matthew 19 it reads exactly the same. The word that the translators of the NIV render as "marital unfaithfulness" is porneia and it includes all types of sexual sin. It does not mean specifically "adultery" because the Greek verb for committing adultery is moichatai. In fact, the Pharisees would probably not have asked Jesus about adultery as a grounds for divorce in Matthew 19, because they would have held to the Old Testament law that punished adultery with death, not divorce!

Porneia is a very broad term that covers many kinds of sexual immorality other than adultery. Jesus permits divorce and remarriage when this occurs. However, divorce is NOT COMMANDED even in the case of adultery or sexual immorality. In fact, it is possible and often preferable to work through such a situation rather than seek a divorce.

The Pauline Exception
Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, adds to the situations that allow for divorce and remarriage for a Christian.

Look up 1 Corinthians 7:12-16. Under what circumstances does Paul declare that Christians may divorce and remarry?

Look up 1 Corinthians 7:39. What limitation does this place on Christians regarding who they may marry?

A New Creation
Look up 2 Corinthians 5:17. Under what circumstances could this verse possibly allow divorce and remarriage?

A Word of Encouragement
Finally, if we have divorced and remarried for reasons other than permitted in Scripture we need not be overcome with despair. The Bible does not say this is an unpardonable sin. Rather, commit your current marriage to God, confess your past sin to Him, and determine in the power of the Holy Spirit to honor God and your spouse by remaining in this marriage until separated by death.

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