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“Godly Father”
Genesis 1:  23-24, 1 Timothy 6:1-19, Ephesians 5:25-33
June 19, 2005
The Rev. Kong Namkung

There were three men in the waiting room while their wives were giving birth. A nurse came in and said to the first man, “Congratulations, you have twins!” He was as happy as a lark, because he worked for the Minnesota Twins.

A little while later, the nurse came in and said to the second man, “Congratulations you have triplets!” He, too, was very excited as he worked for the 3M Company. But, when the nurse came back in and started to talk to the third husband, he almost passed out.  The two other men asked him, “What’s wrong, brother?”  He said, “I am working for the 7-11 convenience store!”

Blessed be Father’s Day!  On this special Sunday we are going to hear the voice of God who speaks to fathers about some of the things fathers are supposed to do for their children, a child, twins, triplets, or 7- 11 children, and their wife in Jesus Christ.  Before we talk about the godly father, we consider what ungodly fathers do.
 

1.  Ungodly father

  1. Not spending time with family. If you do not have time for your family, then you do not have time for God either, which leads them to be ungodly father.  Why don’t fathers have time for their family?
  1. Working too hard.

I think the postmodern American fathers may have been taught to focus a little too much on the work and not enough on the family. I want each of you to think back to when you were a young child. Do you ever remember wanting your dad to approve of you or to love you? Your kids feel the same way, even if they have children of their own now. In short, they want to know you really love them. And, you know what? They deserve to know that, too.

 

  1. Spending time with buddies.  Why do fathers want to have buddies?
    bullet Seeking companionship. 
    bullet Seeking identity.  Many of today’s people have identity crisis. 
    bullet Seeking enjoyment.
    bullet Seeking leisure time.

Fathers need to find leisure time with his family because without having leisure time with his family is like a woman who does not clean her house, but cleans somebody else’s house and like a man, who has a job in a company, but is looking for another job in a different company. 

In this light, many fathers today do not have time to spend with their family.  But your wife and your children are looking for time that they want to spend together.  

A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated. He found his 7-year-old son waiting for him at the door. “Daddy, can I ask you a question?” his son asked. The dad replied: “Yeah, sure, what is it?” “Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?” The dad got mad and said, “That’s none of your business! Why do you want to know?” The little boy said, “I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” The dad, wanting to sit down and relax, said, “If you must know, I make $20 an hour.” The little boy sighed and bowed his head. Looking up, he asked, “Daddy, may I borrow $10 please?” The father flew off the handle, “If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is so that you can hit me up for some cash to buy some stupid toy, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. You’re so selfish. I work long, hard hours every day and don’t have time for this.” The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The dad sat down and started to get even madder about the nerve of his little boy. How dare he ask a question only to get some money? After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think that maybe he was a bit hard on his boy. Maybe his son really needed the money for something important. And so, the father went up to his boy’s room, opened the door, and asked, “Are you asleep, son?” “No daddy. I’m awake,” replied the boy. “I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It’s been a long day, and I took it out on you. Here’s that 10 bucks you asked for.”  The little boy sat straight up, beaming. “Oh, thank you, daddy!” he exclaimed. Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out a wad of crumpled up bills.  The dad, seeing that the boy already had some money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his dad. The dad, now ticked off, demanded to know what was going on, “Why did you want more money if you already had some?”  The little boy replied, “Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do. Daddy, I have $20 now…and I want to buy an hour of your time.”  Fathers!  Your children and your lovely wife ask you to give your time to them. 

The second concern of today’s fathers is that we are easily involved in the worldly things, which cause fathers to malfunction as ungodly fathers.

2.  Addiction, which makes them mentally and spiritually unhealthy.  

Underdeveloped countries lead their people to have addictions so that limited few people control the government and the people. The limited few people intentionally use three S’s- Sports, Sex, and Screen. 

bullet Watching too much TV, sports, or movies.  Spending too much time in front of the computer for games, chatting, or finding a relationship.
bullet Sports:  baseball, basketball, car races, football, and so on.
bullet Seeking other relationships. 
bullet Drinking and drugs

I.                  How can we solve these problems?  In other words, how can ungodly fathers be godly fathers? 

A.     To find your priority- God, family, and church.

Make God your number one priority, through Jesus Christ as your Savior. Then, be Godly by making your family your number two priority. This is not done by just saying it, but by living it.

 

B.     To love your wife and your children- spending time with them so that they know that you love them.

  1. Love your children

PSALM 103:13 says, “As a father has compassion for his children, the Lord will have compassion for him.”  We see that a father should feel a great amount of compassion and love for his children. It is out of this great compassion and love that we do the things we can to make sure they are raised as well as we can raise them. And, sometimes this includes discipline.  ‘Discipline’ means to “train” and “teach.” When do you begin to train and teach them?  The answer is as soon as your child is born. You begin to train and teach them, as soon as their lives are beginning.

Three doctors were talking and one said life began at conception. Another doctor said that life begins at birth. The third doctor piped in and said that life begins when the kids leave home and the dog dies.

I am not the perfect father, and I am sure I have missed occasions to show my kids how much they mean to me, and I said to them “I love you.” And “I am very proud of you.”  Your love as a father is one of the strongest things in your children’s life. It can build a life – or it can literally destroy that life, depending on whether you give it to your child or withhold it from your child.  Today’s children are all too often given material things in lieu of a parent’s love. This might keep that child busy for a short period, but it will do nothing to fill the hole in their heart made by the lack of love from a parent.

Make sure your child knows that they are a priority to you. It has been proven over and over again that one of the chief reasons to social abnormalities in people is the lack of love they received from their parents.

There was a recent survey done in a high school where they took a group of teens that were constantly in trouble and asked them when they were last told that they were loved by their parents. There answers were all either “I can’t remember” or “over two years ago.”  Another survey was done with kids who were not in trouble, and their answers to the same question were all “within the last week”, with the majority of them answering with “today.”

How many men do you know that just can’t seem to say the words, “I love you?” The reason they cannot do that is because they did not receive that as a child, and every time they think about saying it, they start hurting on the inside, just like they did as a child.  Please make note that it is very important to do things for someone when you love them, but all the things in the world that you do, will never take the place of a single “I love you” in words from your lips.   PROVERBS 3:12 says, “The Lord disciplines those He loves. He teaches them, just as a father teaches the son he loves.”

 

  1. Bless your children

Proverbs 20:7 says, “When a man tries to be righteous with his children, he will have children that are blessed.” Give your children a blessing by teaching them to be righteous. Noah blessed his son, Shem, who will be the master of Canaanites in Genesis 9:26.  Jacob blessed Joseph in Genesis 48:15.  Joshua blessed Caleb and gave Hebron to Caleb for an inheritance in Joshua 14:13.  My point is that our faithful ancestors blessed their children before God, who led them where they were socially, economically, and spiritually. 

It is clear for me that those who were blessed by their fathers received their blessing as they lived their lives before God.  With this basic principle, there are many mornings when I put my hands on my children and bless them before they go to school. 

 

3. Love your wife. 

bullet Achieving oneness in marriage.    

Genesis 1:24, “Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  Ephesians 5:28, “In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies.  He loves his wife loves himself.”  Husbands do not forget your wife is yourself.  You and your wife are identical.  The union of husband and wife merges two persons in such a way that little can affect one without also affecting the other. Oneness in marriage does not mean losing your personality in the personality of the other. Instead, it means caring for your spouse as you care for yourself, learning to anticipate his or her needs, helping the other person become all he or she can be. The creation story tells of God’s plan that husband and wife should be one (Genesis 2:24), and Jesus also referred to this plan (Matthew 19:4-6).

bullet Demonstrating your love to your wife in small scale.

 Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” According to the Bible, the man is the spiritual head of the family, and his wife should acknowledge his leadership. But real spiritual leadership involves service. Just as Christ served the disciples, even to the point of washing their feet, so the husband is to serve his wife. A wise and Christ-honoring husband will not take advantage of his leadership role, and a wise and Christ-honoring wife will not try to undermine her husband’s leadership. Either approach causes disunity and friction in marriage.

Here are some practical ways that you demonstrate your love to your wife. 

Tell her that she is the most beautiful woman in the whole world.

Tell her she is looking younger than her age.

Tell her the meal is great.

Open your car door or other doors for her.

Buy a rose for her.

Write a little note for her that you love her.

bullet How should they love their wives?    1 Peter 3:7, “ Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers”.

If a man is not considerate and respectful of his wife, his prayers will be hindered, because a living relationship with God depends on right relationships with others. Jesus said that if you have a problem with a fellow believer, you must make it right with that person before coming to worship (Matthew 5:23-24). This principle carries over into family relationships. If men use their position to mistreat their wives, their relationship with God will suffer.

        C. To be a spiritual father

In PROVERBS 13:22, “A good man will leave an inheritance even for his children’s children.” The first thing we think of when we hear the word ‘inheritance’ is money, isn’t it? But that is not the kind of inheritance the Word is speaking of here. It is talking about a spiritual inheritance by reading the scripture daily with family, praying with them, and serving others in daily lives, including going on a missions trip with your children.  A spiritual father leads his family where God wants them to be and do. 

There were three fathers who saw the necessity of teaching their children about God. the first father took his child for a walk in the woods and told the child how God had made the trees and how He could make them crash down on them if He chose to. He walked a little further with his child and saw some bees gathering pollen, and he told the child how God had made those bees, and if He wanted to, He could make them all come over and sting them. As they walked, the child understood the power of God, but did not see any of the love of God, so he was afraid to trust in God.

The second man took his child for a walk and felt the need to let the child know all he did about God. So, as they passed the flowers, the man kept telling different facts and stories about God. As they passed the pond that was nestled in among the rolling hills, he told the child as much as he could, as quickly as he could so he wouldn’t forget anything. When they finished their walk, that child did not trust God because he did not know God, he just knew about Him.

The third man took his child for a walk and as they passed the grassy fields they stopped and enjoyed it. The man told the child that God loved us so much, He made these fields so we would see His beauty. As they passed the wildflowers on the side of the road, the man told the child how God loved us so much that He gave us colorful flowers to make our hearts joyful. That child came home and was able to trust in God because he knew He was loved by God.

Dads, how are you doing on this one? Are you modeling authentic faith? Are you providing a nurturing atmosphere in your home in which your children can grow up to love, trust, and serve Christ? Are you looking for ways to teach and tutor your kids or are you leaving this for mom to handle? As we’ve established in this series, one of the best ways to parent your children is to live authentically yourself. As someone has said, “One way to correct your children is to correct the example you’re setting for them.”

I want to conclude today’s sermon with a story that how fathers can be spiritual fathers.  A friend told the story of how, when he was about twelve years old, he went to the circus with his father. He said they stood in long line, but finally got to where they were one family away from the ticket window. The family in front of them had eight children, and they all stood in back of the parents, two by two, holding hands and talking about the clowns and animals. He said you could tell they did not have much money, but even at that age, he was impressed by how neat and nice they appeared. He said the man told the lady he wanted ten tickets and the lady said that would be $30.00. The man looked stunned and only pulled a twenty from his wallet. My friend said his dad “dropped” $10.00 on the ground and made a big scene of picking it up. Then he handed it to the man in front of him and said he must have dropped it. The man accepted it with tears in his eyes.  My friend said he and his father did not see the circus that night, but that was okay, because instead, he saw a little bit of God – in his father.  Glory to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

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Genesis 1:23-24

23 And there was evening, and there was morning — the fifth day.

24 And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so.
NIV

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1 Timothy 6:1-19

6:1 All who are under the yoke of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God's name and our teaching may not be slandered. 2 Those who have believing masters are not to show less respect for them because they are brothers. Instead, they are to serve them even better, because those who benefit from their service are believers, and dear to them. These are the things you are to teach and urge on them.

3 If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4 he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5 and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.

6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9 People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

11 But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 13 In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you 14 to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, 15 which God will bring about in his own time — God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, 16 who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen.

17 Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. 18 Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 19 In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.
NIV

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Ephesians 5:25-33

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
NIV

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